Like Mother Like Son
by pen237
Summary: Yuno and Yuki reunite and have a baby who falls in love with Murmur. The world is blown up and all's well that ends well except for poor, poor Yuki. Rated M for language, violence, alcohol. If you made it through the series, it probably won't faze you. Crack.


Disclaimer: Mirai Nikki doesn't belong to me! It just has a special place in my heart. Yuki~

This is...just...I don't know. Yes, there's a reference to Indiana Jones...yes, this is crack.

* * *

When Yuno and Yuki reunited, the empty world exploded with joy, confetti, sparklers, cake, and other happy things. They could finally live happily together as a lovey-dovey couple after all the shit they had gone through. Murmur could finally stop reading her dusty as fuck manga. And all was well with the world.

Until it happened.

"Awww, Yuki, he looks like you!"

Yuno and Yuki had a baby.

*o*

"Mommy, what are we having for lunch?"

Yuno looked down to see her little boy tugging on her skirt. She was so happy!

"Aw, sweetums. Curry, potato salad, fish cakes, and cheese! Why? You hungry?"

"Um...uh...uh..."

The stress of the question caused little Yuta to flush dangerously red. From out of nowhere he drew out a toy knife and began mutilating the house plant.

"Uh...Yuta? You okay, son?" Yuki asked nervously, not daring to step closer lest he get cut to shreds.

"He's fine, Yuki," Yuno smiled. "It's puberty."

"Yuno, he's five."

"He's early!"

Murmur flew by at that moment.

"Yo, happy family, does it smell boring in here or is it just me? Can we get a survival game going anytime soon? It's been a billion trillion ten thousand years..."

"Murmur, it's been six years -" Yuki cut in -

" - and if I watch this anime any longer, my brain's going to fry."

She held up her phone and on it was Naruto.

"Will it never end?"

"Murmur, we can't have a survival game because Yuta's only five," Yuki persisted.

"So what?" She smirked and leaned in to get a good look at the boy. "He can take it! Yuta's awesome!"

From the shadowy depths under his tufty, overgrown black hair, Yuta's eyes came alive.

"I'm...awesome?"

"Yeah! Yuta, you're the best! So why tell Daddy you want a survival game, huh?"

He paid no attention, said nothing, and only stuck a hand out to hold onto Murmur's boot.

"Huh?"

Yuno hummed.

"It was only a matter of time," she remarked cryptically.

"What?" Yuki stared at her.

"Yes, he's my son after all."

Yuki's eyes tripled in size.

"No. Don't tell me he -"

Yuno snapped, and the house kitchen split apart as rocks jutted up and a huge throne room of light was constructed in seconds.

"Yuta's coming of age survival game!" she announced into a megaphone.

She began to cry.

"They grow up so fast..."

Yuki got up after being knocked onto his ass.

"Excuse me?! Survival game?! Yuno, I won't accept this!"

"SHUT UP YUKI YOU'RE MY BITCH!" she roared.

"Yes, Ma'am," he croaked feebly, cowering.

"Yuta."

Yuno stuck a hand on her hip and pointed at her five-year-old wonder. He looked up, dazed.

"Mommy?"

"Mommy's got a game for you."

With another snap of her fingers, she had landed them all in front of Uryu Minene's home.

"The hell are you doing here?!" Minene shrieked, jumping up from watering her lawn. "Yuno, why do you look insane?! Yuki, why are you wearing a collar?!"

Yuki let out an unearthly noise that sounded like, "Meow."

"FUCK!"

"Minene, where are your bombs?"

"In the cellar - I-I-I m-mean, WHAT BOMBS? Oh fuck, shit," Minene scrambled as Yuno dug into her cellar at mach speed. "I should've listened to Nishijima -"

"All right, son," Yuno spoke. "This is a survival game only you can play." Her eyes took on an unnatural gleam. "Want to play with Mommy?"

Yuta's usually empty eyes suddenly lit up. Yuno took that as "yes."

"The objective of this game: save Murmur."

Murmur, who'd been dragged around by little Yuta up till now, gawked.

"What-?!"

With the force of twenty atomic bombs, the entire world went up in smoke.

Everyone coughed. Entire populations had been decimated. There was nothing where there had been Earth.

Suspended in space, the debris flew out to reveal Yuta, barely recognizeable in the writhing fury that had twisted his face, opening a refrigerator pulling out a half-conscious Murmur.

"NOOOO!" Yuki had snapped out of it to realize the atrocity of the situation. "WHAT HAVE YOU DOOONE?!"

"Well done, son," Yuno cackled. "You used a lead-lined refrigerator to save your one true love."

"Mommy," Yuta's voice was low and furious. "You hurt Murmur!"

"That's right. What are you going to do about it?"

Yuta launched himself at Yuno, and they began an epic, full-scale, super CGI battle that made the battle between Minene and Murmur look like a wimpy sissy fight of two kittens crawling sleepily over each other.

"STOP! STOP! PLEASE!"

Yuki shrieked himself hoarse. Then the spirits of his mother and father showed up.

"Yuki, man up."

"Don't mind if I do," he spoke in a suddenly baritone voice.

Yuki threw off his little-boy hat and put on his big-boy boots.

"HEY!"

They ignored him, using tooth and nail against each other.

Yuki took two guns from out of nowhere and pointed them at himself and Murmur

They instantly stopped.

"YUKI!"

"MURMUR!"

And at the same time,

"NOOOO!"

They charged at him, but Yuki was faster.

They were dead.

Yuta and Yuno were left alone.

"Now, son. What are you going to do?"

The boy was quiet, then took out a knife and stabbed his mother.

"I'll kill you, become God of the next world, make Daddy and you, make you make Murmur, and she'll be my girlfriend and we'll play rock paper scissors together forever."

A single tear escaped Yuno's left eye.

"That's my boy," she whispered.

And all of a sudden everything was back to normal.

*o*

"Well, that's that. Boys sure do mature early nowadays," Yuno sighed, a hand to her cheek.

Yuki and Murmur flipped.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" they screamed in unison.

"Obviously, that was Yuta's coming-of-age survival game: Yuta's First Crush," Yuki said in a tone that implied, 'Duhh, you blind or something?'

Little Yuta threw his arms around Murmur and quickly fell asleep with a thumb in his mouth.

"Awww. Little thumbsucker," Yuno cooed. "I hope he never grows up."

Yuki had the presence of mind to make sense of the situation by drowning himself in cheap liquor.

Murmur took it all in stride as she was Yuno's creation and all this was perfectly normal to her.

And Yuno went on raising the light of her life, the sparkle of her eye, the jam to her peanut butter.

You know what they say. Time heals all wounds, and eventually Yuta was a fine young man with Murmur always at his side. They went everywhere together and did everything together. Yuki completed Alcoholics Anonymous and managed to be sober for 19 years straight. At the wedding, Yuno cried into Yuki's shoulder while Yuki choked back tears of his own, tightly holding the hand of his wife whose craziness only seemed to endear her more to himself.

Yes, Yuta and Murmur went off to create twisted survival games together forever, which must have been what Yuta meant by playing rock paper scissors forever.

Yuno and Yuki led nice, quiet lives once more. They took long, romantic walks. They danced in the rain. They watched sunsets and took shy baths together in oil drums.

It was all peaceful once more.

Until the day Yuki woke up to hear Yuno's retching in the toilet.

He rushed over to rub her back and soothe her, extremely worried for his dear wife. All the while, a strange sense of nervousness was stirring from the back of his mind...

"Don't worry, Yuki," Yuno gasped and swallowed. "The same thing happened for Yuta, remember?"

She beamed up at him. His blood ran cold.

"I hope it's a girl this time!"

As Amano Yukiteru watched his wife gaze adoringly over their new daughter Yuka, he was both fully charmed by the soft pink hair his new baby girl sported and absolutely overcome with gut-wrenching dread.

He calculated how big of a wine cellar he'd build this time.

* * *

_Yes, alcoholism is not a joke. I have shitty tolerance T_T I think **that** is a joke._

_R/R_


End file.
